Dr. Sigmund Fraud's Official Diagnosis Tee - "Crack Corn Fizzle Pop" (Heavyweight Edition)

"Your problems are simple. Your solution is... on a T-shirt."

Are you suffering from years-of-trauma-drama-numb-nuts-itis? Have conventional therapists failed to tell you the truth? Dr. Sigmund Fraud has the answer, and now you can wear it.

This isn't just a shirt; it’s a medical prescription from the world’s most unlicensed woodland professional.

The Design:

• Front: Features a high-quality portrait of Dr. Fraud delivering his famous glitch-diagnosis: "CRACK CORN FIZZLE POP."

• Back: A mandatory legal disclaimer listing the potential side effects of wearing this garment, including "Tail Twitching, Nut Burying, Traffic Dodging, and Barking."

The Fit & Feel: We didn't skimp on the quality. Just like Dr. Fraud's fees, this shirt is heavy.

• Vintage Look: Printed on a premium Comfort Colors 1717 (or similar heavyweight) tee for that authentic, lived-in, "cowboy grunge" aesthetic.

• 100% Ring-Spun Cotton: Softer than a squirrel's tail.

• Relaxed Fit: perfect for hiding acorns or relaxing after a long day of judging people.

Dr. Fraud’s Guarantee: "My fee is usually cracked corn and nuts I can chew on. But for you? I accept major credit cards. Buy the shirt. Cure the boredom. Watch out for cars."

Care Instructions: Machine wash cold (inside out). Tumble dry low. Do not iron the squirrel. Do not feed the shirt after midnight.